This is the second blog posted in “Good Carma for Your Marriage.” I had a difficult time deciding on a title for this blog. At first I thought “The Important is Important” or maybe “How I Spent My Christmas Vacation” but such an amazing thing happened between my husband and myself that “A Magical Moment” just feels right!
On the Monday before Christmas I encouraged my husband to call a good friend of ours who is a cardiologist because he had been having what he described as heartburn when he was doing his morning jogs (btw, the only symptom he ever had). He was scheduled for a stress test for Thursday of that week. Well, what happened next was a complete shock and surprise. In a span of 24 hours we went from having a simple stress test to an echocardiogram to the hospital for a heart catheterization the following morning. About 30 minutes into the procedure I was called to the physician’s consultation room. The catheterization takes about 60 minutes so I know this could not be good news. I went white as a sheet, my heart was pounding like crazy and I became very fearful. It was a surgeon who met me in the consultation room. He informed me that my husband had major blockages and needed emergent open heart surgery! The surgeon told me my husband was having a pump put in his leg to keep his heart stable until an operating room became available. He said I would then be able to be with him while we wait. The surgeon also told me the statistics are that about 1 in 100 do not make it through the surgery or first 2 days in the ICU. I crumpled over a chair and began sobbing. Just at that moment our good friend the cardiologist came to comfort and reassure me that my husband was strong, his heart muscle was strong, and he had the best surgeon.
The 15 minute wait seemed like an eternity. But when I was taken to be with my husband the most amazing thing happened…as soon as our eyes met we both began to weep. As we were embracing and weeping I felt the most deeply connected and dearly loved by him in all of our 40 years of marriage! My whole being was focused on meeting his needs and being with him. His whole being was focused on my needs and being with me. It was a magical moment and a powerful connection!
Just last week when we were able to talk and process the whole drama and trauma of it all, we both realized we had experienced something amazingly special. We now have a reference point for the kind of connection we desire to have everyday of our lives. The key is to be totally focused on meeting the other’s emotional, physical and spiritual needs without a thought of wanting our own needs met. If we are both in that sweet spot we will continue to experience deep, meaningful, and powerful love and connection.
The rest of the story is that the surgery went well and my husband’s recovery is progressing wonderfully.
I desire for all couples to experience these kinds of magical moments and the powerful love and connection that accompanies them (without the open heart surgery part)! Please email or call me to schedule a free phone consultation as you begin your path to emotional growth and connection.
Carma Kuhn, M.Ed., LMHC – firstname.lastname@example.org – 321.251.8344