In my last blog we looked at the importance genuine sorrow plays in the “sorrow and forgiveness dance” we do as couples to come to reconciliation after something hurtful has been done or said in our relationship. In this blog we will discuss the forgiveness part of the “dance.” First it is important to understand what forgiveness is not and what forgiveness does not do. Sometimes it is necessary to empty out any misconceptions… Read More
Sorry – For Real!
No matter how sweet and kind your partner may be, there will be times when they hurt you in some way and you hurt them as well. This is the first of a 2-part blog about the “genuine sorrow and forgiveness dance” that is necessary to reconcile after something hurtful has been done or said. In this first blog we will look at the role sorrow plays in reconciliation. Even when the “offenses” are… Read More
Avoiding “WHY”?
One of the best communication secrets a couple can learn is how to avoid asking “why” questions. Those would be questions we ask our partners that begin with the word “why.” Questions that are oh so common in relationships like: “Why did you do that?” “Why did you put that there?” “Why are you so…?” “Why do you feel that way?” Here is the deal with the word “why” – it is a confrontational… Read More
The Power to Choose
While a student in the Master’s program for Mental Health Counseling, there was a book that was required reading. The book is titled, “Man’s Search for Meaning” written by Dr. Viktor Frankl. Dr. Frankl was an Austrian Jewish neurologist and psychiatrist and also a Holocaust survivor. From 1942 until 1945 he resided in several different Nazi concentration camps working as a physician, a psychiatrist, or a slave laborer. Dr. Frankl kept journals chronicling his experiences… Read More
Understood or Understanding?
Understanding…how important is it in relationship? Well, I would say that as we focus on understanding our partner we are on the pathway to better communication and deeper connection! Early in a relationship we are all about trying to learn about and understand the person we are interested in. We spend hours talking about our families, our hobbies, the books we read, the movies we like, our favorite foods, and on and on. We ask… Read More
A Magical Moment
This is the second blog posted in “Good Carma for Your Marriage.” I had a difficult time deciding on a title for this blog. At first I thought “The Important is Important” or maybe “How I Spent My Christmas Vacation” but such an amazing thing happened between my husband and myself that “A Magical Moment” just feels right! On the Monday before Christmas I encouraged my husband to call a good friend of ours who… Read More
Good Carma for Your Marriage
Welcome to Good Carma for Your Marriage! This is the first blog entry of Carma Kuhn, Licensed Mental Health Counselor. You might be wondering if “Carma” is my real name…(I get that question a lot.) Well, yes, it is. My mother named me after her mother and little did she know when she chose that name for me that one day I would grow up to be a therapist! After being married for 40 years… Read More