In this blog post I am going to focus on TRUST. It is a quality that is vital in all healthy and successful relationships. The picture of a woman skydiving with an experienced skydiver is a great visual of trusting. Once you jump out of the airplane you are completely in the hands of the other person. (Personally, it is on my bucket list to do a tandem skydive.)
In relationships trust is a quality that both persons will need to focus on developing. There are four basic elements involved in developing trust:
- Honesty– the words that come out of your mouth and the words that you write down are true and accurate.This would mean no deceit, no deception, no twisting or blame-shifting.
- Transparency– this is different from honesty. When someone is transparent there is nothing hidden. They are like clear glass…no secrets or cover-ups. A person who is transparent will be forthcoming with information and offer up anything they think or feel might be a concern for their spouse or partner.
- Consistency– you do what you say or promise you are going to do andyou do not do anything you commit to not doing. Almost everyone can wear a façade or be an imposter for a short period of time. We are usually on our best behavior when we first meet someone. But is our best behavior who we really are?
- Time– the test of time will reveal our true hearts and character. When we are honest, transparent, and consistent over a time span, trust will be born! That is why I suggest that couples have a dating and courtship period so that deep trust can be built.
If you are in the beginning phase of a new relationship take the time to get to know each other and understand each other’s hearts, thoughts, beliefs and convictions. If you have been in a relationship for a while, maybe some refocus needs to be put into these elements of trust to keep your relationship strong and healthy. If trust has been broken in your marriage or relationship, take courage that working hard at these elements can again produce trust. It will take all of the elements above for a significant time but it is possible.
Certain times and events in our lives can be more difficult to work through. I specialize in working with couples to help them transform their marriages. Call or email me for a FREE phone consultation:
Carma Kuhn, M.Ed., LMHC – 321.251.8344 – firstname.lastname@example.org