One of the most common complaints that couples have about each other is their partner is not a good listener… “He does not hear a word I say.” “I think she ignores me on purpose.” “If only my spouse would hear more than the first few words I say!” “I might as well be talking to the wall.” “You must have received an ‘A’ in selective listening class.”   Do any of these seem familiar? … Read More

Don’t we just love new things…a new outfit, new purse, new shoes, new car, even things like a new recipe or new restaurant!  We celebrate new…new baby, new job, new home, and party all night to bring in the New Year!   On Saturday I had the pleasure of watching this beautiful sunrise with my husband and some family members who were visiting.  It was a perfect day with a light breeze, low humidity, and… Read More

Often times we wonder, “What would be the most important change I can make in the way I communicate with my partner?”  That is a very important question.  And the answer may sound simple yet to really put the solution into practice can be quite a challenge.   So…are you ready?  The best communication strategy/skill that will have significant impact in your relationship is:   To clearly, directly and respectfully state what you want and… Read More

What comes to mind when you think of a good investment?  Property, cars, jewelry, stocks and stuff like that?  Well, what is it worth to begin your life with your special someone in the best way possible?  Imagine beginning your marriage focused on understanding each other, sharing your visions for the future, and knowing how to really communicate with each other…not to mention having a good way to resolve conflicts that come up from time… Read More

Our topic for this week’s blog is “Please do NOT give me unsolicited advice.”  In many couples one person is usually a fixer.  They tend to think of themselves as helpful, analytical, solution-oriented and logical.  The other person is typically more of the emotional one.  When the one more connected to emotions needs to vent or simply talk about something they have experienced they would like someone to listen. They are not looking for or… Read More

I am taking a little detour from the usual marriage secrets, advice, and tips that are in these blog posts.  This week’s blog is a humorous story about creative ways to find time for intimacy after a couple has children in the home.  This story was shared by a friend but the origin and author are unknown (or I would be glad to give them credit).  I hope you enjoy!   The only way to… Read More

In my last blog we looked at the importance genuine sorrow plays in the “sorrow and forgiveness dance” we do as couples to come to reconciliation after something hurtful has been done or said in our relationship.  In this blog we will discuss the forgiveness part of the “dance.”   First it is important to understand what forgiveness is not and what forgiveness does not do.  Sometimes it is necessary to empty out any misconceptions… Read More

No matter how sweet and kind your partner may be, there will be times when they hurt you in some way and you hurt them as well.  This is the first of a 2-part blog about the “genuine sorrow and forgiveness dance” that is necessary to reconcile after something hurtful has been done or said.  In this first blog we will look at the role sorrow plays in reconciliation.   Even when the “offenses” are… Read More

One of the best communication secrets a couple can learn is how to avoid asking “why” questions. Those would be questions we ask our partners that begin with the word “why.” Questions that are oh so common in relationships like: “Why did you do that?” “Why did you put that there?” “Why are you so…?” “Why do you feel that way?”   Here is the deal with the word “why” – it is a confrontational… Read More

While a student in the Master’s program for Mental Health Counseling, there was a book that was required reading. The book is titled, “Man’s Search for Meaning” written by Dr. Viktor Frankl. Dr. Frankl was an Austrian Jewish neurologist and psychiatrist and also a Holocaust survivor. From 1942 until 1945 he resided in several different Nazi concentration camps working as a physician, a psychiatrist, or a slave laborer. Dr. Frankl kept journals chronicling his experiences… Read More